squirrel on a wire

There I was, sitting on my front porch, when a small brown squirrel cruised by on the telephone/electric wires in front of the house. I've seen birds on wires, of course, but never a squirrel. I knew we had squirrels in the neighborhood because the dog used to chase them obsessively. Maybe that's what drove them to the high-wire: fear of manic pitbulls (is that redundant?) Never a dull moment here on Clinton Street. OH!!! I had my first encounter with the hunchback. He (I am now fairly certain he is male) stopped by the driveway as I was unloading boxes and asked for cans. I gave him a few and told him I'd have more as I unpacked. He asked if I was moving. I said I was, and he told me he'd miss me. Well, I didn't think it was necessary to tell him we'd never met, but I did say (yelled), "No, I'm moving in." He's deaf, turns out. So many obstacles. I would have loved to maintain the mystery and fear the hunchback like the kids do, but he's not very scary. But then, I'm not a bus driver.

I've made some observations, mostly related to finding my way around.... For instance, in case you didn't know it, 82nd street turns into a freeway. There you are, just cruising down the road looking for the grocery store (Winco -- God I hate Winco.... more later about that) and suddenly, things are looking suspiciously like a freeway. Now, where I come from, you just can't accidentally find yourself on the freeway. There are signs and markings, flashing signals and idiot prevention devices all over the place. No ambiguity about it. Not so here. Suddenly, I was headed for Pendleton... not somewhere I want to go, again. I won't talk about my 17th summer or the "Let 'er Buck" room where you get a free t-shirt if you take yours off. Also, in Portland, there are crop circles in the middle of many streets, meant to slow traffic. This is what they seem like to me. I am just reporting my observations, remember. I'm sure there is a name for them. I just know that if there were no trees, a bird's eye view would look like crop circles. Some are larger than others. Ladd's addition is a particularly annoying one. I asked a rhetorical question at a meeting the other day: What is up with Ladd's Addition, anyway??? Who's idea was that? So this woman approaches me after the meeting and very earnestly explains to me it is a european concept meant to encourage a sense of community, which, she assured me, it does. I just get lost. But as I've learned, all roads lead to Mecca. You can get anywhere from anywhere if you have enough gas and a car that runs. So getting lost is just one way of figuring it out. My beloved suggest that I note the rising of the sun, determine east from west, north from south, and be a man about it. He cannot be as caustic as I am, but he tries, bless his heart. For my money, fuck the four directions... I just want to know where Linens and Things is.

Anyway, I'm decorating like mad.