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here's the thing.... i always think i'm going to get off light. i always think the worst is over just before it hits. in the immortal words of crosby stills and nash, its always darkest just before the dawn and i always think i can see the dawning from where i sit, think i am already in the dark, and then, it gets darker.

every time.

my freakin' shoulder hurts. they told me it would. but then, he pulled the pain pump out and told me i was probably through the worst of it, but shit man. it may have been the worst of it, but i had the pain pump in. see? So i get all hopeful, and think i'm on the happy road, and wham! the party starts in earnest. Now, the good news is that this may mean i am not a pessimist afterall. it may mean i am easily seduced by the carefully chosen words of physicians. it may mean i'm rebecca of sunnybrook farm or an idiot. you decide. so, i hurt. but it is a healing kind of bone pain, not the torture that came before.

anyway, asia from deconstructionist came by and brought me thai food which was yummy. Jill brought me roses and a young women's fashion magazine called Jane which was thoughtful and maybe a little edgy. Jill's a little edgy --alot, really-- and she thought it wasn't "too gap". in reference to the store i think. But it looked a little gap-ish to me.

Lorretta just wrote. my old house in talent is empty. that breaks my heart. you should have seen the kitchen. i designed it myself, with open shelving and tile countertops with terracotta colored grout. it was perfect. and a dishwasher and garbage disposal for the first time in my life. that is one thing i did give up to get married and still want. And while i miss my little cottage in talent, it was an empty sanctuary at the end, and i hope whoever lives in it loves it like i did.