Sunday, March 22, 2015

why I don't write

Like anyone cares.

In December, my computer died a slow death. I took it to my usual computer shop. "It's the charger." They know more than I do. "Okay," I say, and hand them money for a slick new charger with every style of plug I'll never need. I took the computer home and it died in exactly the same way . I took it back. "Its the battery." Their voices calm and assured. "Okay," I say, and  hand them more money for a new Norton subscription and a battery. I took the computer home and it died. It is now early February. I'm not kidding. So I, slow learner, take it back, third trip. "It's the motherboard." This spoken in hushed tones: final, eulogyical. That probably isn't a word. So this means I have to buy another computer. So I hand them some more money and they sell me this piece of crap Lenovo with a keyboard that is so sensitive that I can't use it. CANNOT. So I take it back and by now they hate me. And I secretly hate them but have to be nice so they'll keep helping me. I used to have a sign on my desk at work that said, "If things don't get better around here I'm going to have to ask you to stop helping me." So. So I take it back again because Cliff, the tek wizard who has been robbing me for three months, can make my computer less sensitive. The way he says it is as though he is creating a special slow-witted computer just for me because I am so sensitive. Fine. Just make it so that every time I hover over the mouse pad it doesn't erase every word I've typed. "Okay," I said, "but I reserve the right to decide this isn't the computer for me."

It is working fine now.

3 comments:

JoAnne Garwood said...

What we have here is a failure to communicate. I think.

JoAnne Garwood said...

A broken computer is no excuse for not writing. Okay, so maybe it is but it's not a good one. A good one might be somewhat on the order of having a stroke or maybe ALS - something like that. If that hasn't happened then, well, you're wrong. Which is not to say a bad thing. Many wrong people have written some wonderful stuff. Hemingway, Plath...What I'm saying is that you can be a really wrong person without a computer and still write good shit.

Jennifer Fulford said...

He did rob you. I'd ask for a refund. His diagnostics were off. Hope you are well. Enjoying life. Living fully. jen