rain and unemployment

Yesterday was a record high. Rain today. I'm up early and finding this is probably my time to write. Nicole is still in bed, man gone to man work, and I'm tripping around the house, putting things in an order that makes sense to me.

Yesterday I applied for unemployment. That act alone was such a throwback to my youth I felt like I was in a time warp. I recall one particular stint on the dole when I was in my second or tenth extension of benefits and was required to attend a class on creating a resume and living through a job interview. As was my custom, I'd been up for three or four days and feeling somewhat transparent. My ability to fill out forms was impaired, but nothing compared to what happened when they turned the cameras on to record the interview process for my edification. I may have been just a teensy bit paranoid. "You need to make eye contact with the interviewer," came the review. Probably true. I couldn't look myself in the eye, let alone a stranger holding my life in the balance. The film was bad. Jittery. A neurological answer to the question: how long can you stay awake? Today, having slept well (for the past many years), eaten something and having less guilt about my situation, a late 50's longhair sidled up to me at the slick formica tables and gave me a tip: "unenjoyment." One word. I'm sure he though that said it all. I was nearly compelled to turn to him and come back with "unentitlement." But it didn't rhyme and I was on foot. On foot in the big city, asking for directions I can barely follow. So, I ignored him. If I've learned one thing in twenty-some-odd years of mental healthcare, it is this: never make eye contact with the mentally ill. He qualified. So, I filled out the papers, stuffed them in the drop box and wandered off to the engraver to get my ring engraved. I am learning my way around, one business at a time.

We began cutting down the back hedge. Why is it that these projects start out seeming do-able, but once the chainsaw is running, the hedge behind the hedge becomes apparent and what was a couple of loads becomes ten loads? Lotsa work. The back yard will double in size and I will plant shit like crazy.