time passages

I wonder if I'll ever get a job. Really. It is the dead heat of the job hunt that has me twisted up inside. I remind myself that I have a job, really, soon, March.... but it isn't March. It is October. And funds are dribbling through my fingers. The interviews are going very well. Actually, I did get a job. A really crappy job for less than half of what I'm used to. And I know humility. I've done my time. Trust me on this. And I'm happy to do an easy job for that amount of money. But not this. This is a really hard job. A 40-hour salary job that averages 60 hours a week. I know myself better than that. And they don't use computers. I'd be going to work for LUDDITES!!! That wouldn't be any fun at all. I'm not even sure my dinosaur fingers can make letters anymore. So, I've pretty much talked myself out of it. I'm going to Bi-Mart or Freddy's and get a seasonal job.

What I will agree to during an interview startles me. I almost laugh. Sure, I say. No problem.